Thursday, February 15, 2007
I danced this valentine
On 2006 New Year’s Eve I danced my soul away. It was a night of music madness, like many New Years Eves within the past couple of years I spend it slightly tipsy and dance into the new season. It’s not my favorite way of celebrating the end of the year, but given the available options and the fact that my favorite dance location only throws this party once a year I enter into a state of temporal delusion, convincing my self that life is perfect, and that I am a beautiful and intelligent woman living a wonderful life. For that moment at least the excitement of the season dulls my usual cynical psyche.
This weekend I was surprisingly able to reproduce those feelings at an exclusive dinner and dance party held to prematurely celebrate “love”, four days earlier then the commercially publicized date.
The location was a Chinese restaurant, and the lousy food that was anything but Chinese didn’t dull my spirit as I glided onto the dance floor moving to the beat of a constellation of contemporary music, an occasional mix of sixties and eighties hits only served to fuel my mania, pushing my spirit to intense depths of ecstatic liberation. I struggled with every move to remain composed, holding off the desire to completely let go of all inhibitions for fear of appearing to be overly- sensual. Being only too aware that with all the partying spiteful rumors could materialize from such “innocent” moves………… okay! I admit my dance moves may not be sooooooo innocent; my annoyingly voluptuous back side tends to move a bit more sensually than I intend it to. But I can’t help it!, the cadence of musical beats engulf me, it’s therapeutic for me, as I let go of all uncertainties embracing the moment one rhythmic moment at a time.
I see clearly why dancing for some is part of a spiritual ceremony, the movement to loud musical beats accentuated by dim lights and other enthusiastic dancers takes one to a whole new level of exhilaration, its almost unfair that it is so much more fun in a crowd other wise it would have been safer to stick to dancing only in the bedroom, for fear of creating a an unsavory reputation. With the corner of my eyes I watched other dancers, hoping that they would notice but not watch me, I admired the good dancers and giggled at the silly ones. My favorite songs from P-Square, Cher, Cline Dion, and Xavier Naidoo drove me to wild levels of physical expression. It didn’t matter weather it was Nigerian pidgin, French, German or Latino lyrics, the universality of musical language enraptured my spirit, robbing me temporarily of my reticence.
The battle with my conservative northern Nigerian mentality raged bitterly with the electrifying desire to let go and have fun. The faces of acquaintances among the crowd constantly remind me to contain my excitement, yet my naturally passionate disposition was totally consumed by the fire of musical rhythm. I almost hate the possibility of being judged, I resented in advance all who thought my short black dress too sexy and my dance to sensual, even though I knew on some level I did set out to be both, but not for the same reasons others may perceive.
Dancing for me is Fun! Fun! Fun!, its not about seduction or showing off, for me its about letting my mind rest , allowing my spirit soar while my body flowed with the rhythm and rhyme of fast paced melody. Even though I danced with my less enthused spouse, nothing was going to stop be from dancing this valentine.